Ty and Tasj's Thai adventure :)

The last time I wrote anything was the night before Tyron arrived. I couldn't sleep, and was determined to fill my time. I was even a bit frantic, and thinking way too much. I hadn't seen him in a little over three months or more, and I wasn't even sure why anymore.

But I did fall asleep, and I did make it to the airport in good time to fetch him, and it was amazing. And then I had the best month of my life. I'm not going to write about his time here in as much detail as I have my other adventures, partially because it ended a month ago, and partially because I'm actually a pretty private person (she says, writing a blog) and I don't want to make it less special by telling everybody.

I saw more of Thailand with Ty than I did the whole time I was here alone. We stayed on an island for a week and did amazing things like snorkelling and a jungle canopy tour, and laying on the beach doing absolutely nothing. It was glorious and restful and so much fun! The island we were on is Koh Phangan, which is famous for its Full Moon parties every month. The Full Moon party is one of the biggest beach parties I've ever seen, and filled to bursting with drunken crazed high-school leavers and gap year kids looking for a new thrill. The sheer amount of wallets, handbags and shoes lying at the on the beach and floating away on the waves was overwhelming - I really don't think I experienced a phase of being so utterly loskop.

After we got back from Koh Phangan, we stayed in Bangkok for about a week and a half, to celebrate Christmas. Before leaving for the island, Ty had to amuse himself for a week in the city, as he arrived on the Monday and I had to work until the Friday. He was much more adventurous than I had been when first arriving here, and picked up the necessary Thai very quickly. So when we came back we got a chance to show each other the city as we had found it to be.
It was quite a full house for the entirety of December; there was the 4 people who legitimately lived there, KC who paid to legitimately live there but didn't have a room, Carlos (Nicola's boyfriend) and his brother Mario, and Ty. There was also on occasion my friend Ben, when it was more cenvenient to stay over than go home. So we had lots of people to cater for Christmas, and we really did have a lovely one. Everybody was a bit sensitive about not being at home, and wanting to do their own Christmas traditions, but it worked out well in the end with a bit of compromise.
Ty and I walked for miles on Christmas Eve, having taken down the directions to the church incorrectly, but we made it and the service was beautiful, if different.
Christmas lunch can only be described as majestic, everybody made their contribution and I had so much fun being a busybody in the kitchen. Cooking in Thailand is something that just doesn't happen for me, and I really enjoyed it.

Santa and his helper

Lunch that turned into dinner

Singing the blessing

  KC, Nicola and Carlos left for Laos on Boxing Day, and by this point our easy living had taken its toll financially, so we stayed in Bangkok for another week or so after Christmas, not going out much or seeing anything, just spending time together and regaining ground.

We all met up for New Years in Chiang Mai, north of Bangkok, and a lot more Thai. I know that makes no sense, but what I mean is that the sense of living in Thailand, in a completely different culture, is much more prevalent in Chiang Mai than in Bangkok. I really loved the feel of the city, and I finally knew what Jennie had been waxing lyrical about for so long. Its more old, really, less brash. Its the more dignified grown-up sister of teenage Bangkok.
Kimmie came to Chiang Mai as well, with her friend from home, Nicole. I really enjoyed being part of a big group of really good friends all the time, it made every little experience so much more fun.
Chiang Mai does New Years in a really big way, which is interesting since Thai New Year is only in April. There were lanterns and fireworks at this big stadium. Ty and I got caught up in town, and had to rush to the stadium, running the last kilometre or so to get through traffic. It really felt so great to finally get there with 6 seconds to go before midnight, and find them in the nick of time.

After Chiang Mai we went to Pai, which is a little town about 4 hours drive up a very windy mountain pass. By the time we arrived, KC and Nicole were so unwell that it took a while for their stomachs to settle. I thank God that the only motion sickness I have ever suffered is induced only by boats.
We spent the first couple of hours in Pai looking for somewhere to stay, and it took longer than planned, as Pai seems to be a little hive chock full of hippies. Its a really lovely little town, with one main road and good shopping.
The best thing about both Chiang Mai and Pai, which I failed to mention before, is the weather. I was more cold in Chiang Mai than I have been since entering Thailand. It was literally necessary to wear a jersy and scarf (none of which I had until reaching Pai). As much as I've been saying I'd love a bit of winter, I discovered I was lying the whole time. I hate the cold.
We didn't do very much in Pai, went to look for waterfalls and springs on motorbikes. Ty developed a love of driving a motorbike on Koh Phangan, and is convinced he's joining the Hell's Angels (on a scooter, I ask you).

An interesting thing happened at the entrance to the spring - there were what looked like Thai soldiers monitoring the gate. All the Thai people were allowed to walk through for free, but they wanted us to pay 300B. This is the worst example I've experienced of double pricing in Thailand, something that is actually very common. Vendors and security people don't even think its wrong to expect you to pay so much more as a foreigner, its just policy. You're foreign and come from a Western country and therefore have more money to spend. I wonder what would happen if all countries adopted this policy...

After Pai, coming home to Bangkok was a relief. I was tired and broke, and just wanted to spend the last bit of time alone with Ty.
He went back to South Africa just over a month ago, and saying goodbye again was hard enough to make me absolutely sure that I want to go home. I won't leave immediately, because I still feel responsible for my students. But when the academic year ends in June, so will my Thai adventure.

Coloured People

Trevor Noah was right, it is damn difficult to explain coloured people to non-South Africans.
The first time in recent memory that I've attempted this was in August, when me and Ty took our trip to Coffee Bay. We went on a hike (voluntarily, I know right?) to see the sights and to do some cliff jumping. We bonded with a bunch of people, Sofia the Australian tightrope-walking nurse, Lisa the Britsh volunteer, and the Dutch couple who were hilarious but I can't remember their names.
That night, we got to talking over some drinks, and Lisa asked the inevitable question. I didn't see it coming then, but by now I've learned to recognise that the moment is approaching.
You're both getting quite comfortable with each other, and moving into 'personal questions' territory, the ones that you ask somewhat tentatively, ready to retract at any moment in case you offend your new friend.
"So, are you black then? Cos you don't look very black."

I still don't know how to really answer this question. Sometimes I say yes, for three reasons: 1) its a much shorter answer, 2) well I mean I'm not white, and 3) I don't feel much of a connection with the person, and so I don't have the energy for this mammoth explanation.

The difficulty for me in the explanation comes with the term 'mixed race', which I'm discovering is way more politically correct in the rest of the world than you would think. And yet I can't bring myself to ignore the knee-jerk Trevor reaction "Jou ma se mixed race!"

Experience has taught me to make the compromise "Its simplest if I say 'mixed race' but don't tell anyone I said that."

And then I launch into the discussion, because I for some reason feel compelled to, about how I am NOT mixed race, both my parents are the same as me, and all 4 grandparents. And that the white man and the black woman (or the other way round) who were originally responsible for this 'mixing' lived several generations ago and that by now this has created an entire new race of people in South Africa.

I'm still getting blank looks at this point, so I use my genius brother's explanation to clarify even further:
"You know how Jan van Riebeeck landed at the Cape in 1652 with Drommedaris, Reijger and Goeie Hoop? Well, his lady wife arrived at the Cape a whole four years later, and its in that in between time that the Dutch started dipping into the pot of tar."
The reference to the 'touch of the tar brush' always makes me laugh, but it does make politically-correct Brits kind of giggle awkwardly. Hehe.

And I figure this is the best I can do, without overloading people's brains with two much information about how there's also Malaysian heritage, and British, and just about everybody else who settled at the Cape and later Durban and PE. I mean, its already a far longer answer than they were looking for.

Sometimes I just let people believe what they want, like an American girl I met on a beach trip once. I was sharing a room with two American girls, both black, and we were getting into swimming stuff to go laze around, when the more outspoken of the two burst forth with:
"It is so GOOD to meet another black person out here. I tell ya, these Thai people be lookin at me all crazy, checking out my ass. They just don't know what it means to be black, you know what I'm sayin?" (Now please read that quote again, with a deep South accent, and you'll get what I mean.)

She says this to me, completely disregarding the other girl in the room, who's from the same place in the States that she comes from, and also black. I wanted to say that I'm not sure I know what it means to be black either, but I would've just been saying it to make her feel awkward, and the beach was waiting for me.

I've had to answer this question more than ten times since arriving here, by now Nicola starts laughing when she hears the conversation headed toward this business of being 'mixed race'. I just can't bring myself to see it as a blank term, without any connotation attached. I don't like it, I associate it with images of weak tea, and the Oros that's still in the bottle. And even worse, it starts sounding a bit Nazi/ Harry Potter-ish, all this pure blood nonsense. But its very likely that it means nothing at all, and that its only my holding on to the negative connotations that give them power.

Perhaps the next time someone asks me, I'll smile coyly and say "Why do you ask?" and avoid the conversation altogether. Feels much healthier that way.

Good times :)

Today is the first chance I've gotten this week to write about my weekend, which was really good, for the most part. But I also wanted to write about other things that've been on my mind.

First things first, the Americans celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday, and I only take note of it because I find myself surrounded by Americans and it means so much to them. Gareth Cliff says its the day we give thanks for not having been born a turkey, and I'm inclined to agree with him!

But I'm also thankful for lots of other things, and I like the idea of taking a day to be aware of them.
1) I'm thankful that my body is whole, my mind is whole and I have the capacity to do and be anything I want. There are people for whom life is so much harder than it is for me, and I'm grateful for the perspective to see that my problems are pretty small in comparison.
2) I'm thankful for my parents for giving me all the opportunities they could, and for always helping me, even when the help was in not helping. They have moulded me.
3) I'm thankful for South African school children, for making me a teacher. And to Thai school children for showing me that I don't know it all yet.
4) I'm thankful for Tyron, for being Tyron, and for being MY Tyron, and everything that means.

There's lots of other things that I'm thankful for, but I didn't intend it to be that kind of post, so I won't go on.

Now, about my weekend:
Sunday marked the celebration of Loy Krathong festival in Thailand, as previously mentioned. So my school was dead set on having this really massive event with each grade doing a dance, and a big catered supper and so one. Teachers also all had to do a duty, which is fine.
However, we were required to be at school from 8am on Sunday to do these duties and supervise the last rehearsals. So Ben, Jennie and I planned to go to the cinema on Saturday night, to stop ourselves going too big and being useless at school on Sunday morning. Naturally I'd been looking for an excuse to see the new Harry Potter movie anyway. Very dark, and too much suspense for my weak heart, but I'm keen to see the next one.

Anyway, we were late for school on Sunday, and arrived just after 9am. I thought we'd have to sneak in, but there were hardly any teachers around, and even fewer kids. Most of the parents seemed to have had the good sense to ignore the school's request to send their children to school for no particular reason.
There was no rehearsal that we were aware of all day, so we stayed in Jennie's room amusing ourselves with Spongebob Squarepants. I even straightened my hair for the first time since coming to Thailand (and I'll admit that I thought my hair was going to refuse!). I cannot emphasize more how much nothing was going on. I didn't even see my Grade 12's until 5 minutes before the performance.

We started primping at about 2pm; there's only so much Spongebob a grown woman can/will watch. That part was quite fun, I haven't spent that much time and energy on getting dressed in a couple years lol. I even managed to have a quick Skype with Ty before we started.

The show went off ok, pretty boring. The fun part really started afterward, when I joined some teacher friends for a beer on one of the klong boats on the canal opposite the school. I know, I don't drink beer, but I'm not really high on options over here. Besides, if you drown it in ice it doesn't taste quite so bad :)

On the way to the boat I bought a krathong and convinced Ben to come with me to do the traditional floating. You're supposed to put a piece of your hair and a coin into the krathong, light the candle and the incense and then say a little prayer. You think about all the hurts and bad things that have happened in the past year, and all the water wasting and stuff, and you put it away from yourself. Then you put the krathong in the water and give it a little push. Its such a beautiful ritual.
The other traditional thing you do is send up lanterns. I don't know if you're supposed to say a little prayer while doing that, but they're very pretty :) I'll put up some pictures later today.

No one wanted to go out after having a beer, so we decided to all split taxis and go home. But I got waylaid by some of the Thai staff  sitting outside the school having a drink. So Ben, Jennie, Katie and I were just going to sit for a very little while, and had the time of our lives. I love being surprised by having a really good time! It was so much fun that I only got home at 5am, luckily we had been given Monday off school.

I was so proud of myself for not flaking out and going home, which I've been known to do. I want to trust my instincts more and take more chances and not always be so tired. And I think I'm doing it.

Patience is a virtue...

It's only Wednesday, and already I know that this can be written off as a bad week. I've been called fat, directed to wear a clown costume, been turned away from Thai costume shops that don't stock my size, and been poked and prodded at for being shaped funny. Naturally it only gets worse.

This morning as I walked into school after raising the flag, the secretary pulled me aside and spoke to me about my clothes, which are apparently inappropriate. I would like to point out at this juncture that I am wearing a non-revealing black top, three-quarter pants and sandals, the same thing I wore at Cambridge for almost three years.
It is not acceptable to the owner of my school that I wear flat shoes AND short pants on the same day. I can wear short pants, but must then wear heels or closed shoes. If I want to wear sandals I must wear long pants or a skirt.

Now, if you know me, you know that I am physically incapable of moving at anything faster than a crawl when wearing heels. I just can't do it, God knows I've tried. In the interest of efficiency in doing my job, heels would be a hindrance.
The other issue is that I have big feet, by Thai standards, and so cannot find shoes to fit. So I wear open backed sandals so that my heels can hang off the edge. Naturally, with closed shoes this would not be possible. The options here are therefore either to be really slow at getting anywhere (and uncomfortable within an hour) or in agony all day and develop ugly blisters on my heels.

The pants issue also presents a problem for several reasons:
1) I live maybe 15 degrees north of the equator, in Southeast Asia. It is SWELTERING hot, every day.
2) Thai people don't make pants my size cos Thai people don't wear pants my size. So they are nowhere to be found, except in the very expensive places.
3) Number 2) also applies to all skirts that are not of the wraparound variety.

You can see why I feel like a behemoth all the time, with my self esteem swiftly eroding. Feet too big, too tall, boobs too big (I get stared at on the street), hips too wide, hair too curly... I mean I'm foreign!! Of course I look different! Although I think they would find my foreign-ness easier to accept if I wasn't brown. Ai.

So it would appear that I have nothing to wear, again, and no money really to rectify the situation. Because who came to Thailand expecting to have to buy a whole wardrobe? Certainly not I.

Another first

Today I experienced another first time, my first Thai massage. Nicola's has been raving about them since I arrived, but somehow it hasn't happened until today. We took a walk down the road (literally less than 200m, massage parlours on every corner in this place) and it's not even expensive, 200baht for an hour. But boy she works your body hard! And to be honest, in the beginning I felt like it was a bit invasive. I mean, she twists and turns you in all different ways and that's great, but to do that you have to become quite intimate withe the lady. She's nothing but professional though, and she did a great job. I think it was more of a workout for her than for me!

In other news, school's plodding along nicely. Nicola and I were discussing a trip to Chiang Mai (up north) for Loy Krathong festival next weekend, but my school put paid to that idea. We're having a big celebration at school and all the teachers are expected to attend. Even more than that, we're expected to wear traditonal Thai dress, which is going to be very interesting. I don't really mind so much, as it should be good.
Loy Krathong is a festival when Thai people say thank you to the God of Water for what she gives them, and also to apologise for wasting water so much. You make what's called a krathong, a small floating device with a candle and flowers, and you light it and loy/float it down any body of water. There's a big canal in front of my school and that's where the ceremony will be taking place. It's clearly very important to the owner of my school, as they've built a jetty and put in a fountain en alles. I thought this was normal Thai practice but some of the other teachers who have worked at other schools here before said that this is the first time they've seen such a big deal made out of it. I wonder why?
Anyway it should be fun.

The biggest news I've left until last: In exactly 19 days mine own Kassandra will be here in Krungthep (Thai word for Bangkok) and working at my school, and a whole 9 days later Tyron will be here too. I simply cannot wait!! I've been trying to plan a nice December, but haven't wrapped my head around it yet. So excited!!!

Bangkok weekend

This weekend I had so much fun doing things that I don't normally do, and I feel so good about them that I must get it down.
On Friday night I went to a party at a teacher friend's house, Jay. He's married to a lovely Thai woman, May, and the party was to happen on the rooftop. I thought my rooftop was cool (its in fact the furthest thing from cool) but Jay's is the epitome of cool. So for starters, I've never even been on the rooftop on an apartment building before (22 floors) and secondly I've never partied on a roof top before. We had so much fun, jamming with a jembe, did some singing, Jennie did some piggy-backing, and so on. I did leave fairly early though, no one else was going in my direction, and I didn't want to take the risk of falling asleep in the taxi all by myself.

On Saturday I got way out of my comfort zone and played tennis. I know, right? Just weird. I don't voluntarily do sport, its not my thing. But Nics was really keen, and Shawn (my packrat landlord) has loads of spare rackets and balls, and my building has a tennis court. I really enjoyed it, and am determined to get better at it, so Nics and I have decided to play every weekend. During the week would be great too, but I don't get home till after dark.

I have also decided that I should take up running again. Its a crying shame to have brought my takkies all this way and then not have shown them anything, Plus there's a really nice park around the corner from me that is perfect for that purpose.

After tennis, we sat up on the balcony having some beers and singing our little hearts out. But African harmonies don't work so well if you only have two voices, neither of which is a bass. KC will be useful for that purpose also :)

We then went adventuring, looking for a nice place to have a drink. I love it when a really good night kind of sneaks up on you. We were planning on a quiet one, and then bed, but an internet search said there was a salsa festival happening this weekend, so we went looking for it. The place was closed (weird) so we met up with Jennie, Taylor and some friends of theirs at this place near home called The Australian. I didn't expect much from it, having seen my fair share of Sukhumvit bars, but! They have this great Filipino cover band who are actually really good, and the vibe is cool. So that was a very pleasant surprise, and our quiet drink brought us home at 3am. Not bad!

I'm enjoying challenging myself by doing completely different things, and its so worthwhile when they turn out well. Like right now, I'm sitting on my bed, having just eaten something I would never before have considered an entire meal - rice with a little olive oil and salt and pepper. And its great. I love that I'm breaking barriers and changing myself. This weekend I really feel like I'm accomplishing my mission.

Catching up

So its been a while since I wrote anything, mostly because time's just getting away from me.
What's happened since Phuket?
 I haven't really been going out very much, last month scared me a bit in terms of making it through the month with my meagre earnings, which are meagre again this month as a result of paying too much rent. I'm looking for private students to supplement my income though. Naturaally when I say I'm looking, I mean that I've thought about it and the process hasn't really developed beyond that point yet. Oh, the woes of being a lazy sod.

Well, school started up again, and our director left, after just over 2 months in the position. There are mixed feelings about this amongst the staff, with the general consensus being 'good riddance'. However, in his place we have a vice director, the main disciplinarian, a very confusing man. Sometimes I wish for people like Spencer Welman and Grassy Buitendag to come and make sense out of my school.
So what I've been doing lately is getting involved with discipline stuff and setting up relevant programs to deal with this stuff. On the one hand, I'm thinking that this is NOT what I signed up for, but on the other hand its kinda cool figuring out firsthand what works and what doesn't.

Some frustrations are mounting at school, things not working they way they should. I think its mostly because the teachers here are not career teachers, most of them have never done this before in their lives. They still think, as I did when I started my PGCE, that a teacher goes into a class and teaches their subject, and that's their whole job. People complain about doing duties, and having to go the extra mile and sitting detention, and all that kind of thing, but are also complaining about how nothing seems to work at our school, the kids have no discipline and respect, this that and the next thing, and they really don't seem to see the link between the two. Its weird for me starting a new job, and being one of the people that knows what's going on. I didn't even know what was going on at Cambridge half the time!

The most important thing to mention about school is that my dearly beloved bestie has managed to secure herself a position here, starting 7 December, as an English teacher, and I can hardly wait!! I won't have to translate perfectly good Safrican English into American all the time anymore, because somebody will FINALLY understand me! Woohoo! I literally cannot wait. She'll be living with me for the first little while, until she sorts herself out.

Another arrival that I'm waiting for with bated breath - today marks 40 days until Tyron/Pyron arrives for a visit. I'm so excited I could pop. Its been a tough 7 weeks without him, nothing could have prepared me for it. But its also forced us to develop in other ways, so good and bad. I learned how to do long distance from my friend Bethelah, and she told me "Communication is key!" Remembering her wise words is helping out more than I would have believed at the time. So we're soldiering on, and that's amazing.


Other interesting things that have happened lately:

1) A great Hallowe'en party that Nicola and I went to, that was very cool. We got dressed up en alles, and I even sliced my finger open to add to the gore. Alas, that part wasn't planned. Pictures to follow, when I'm more organized.

2) Thursday morning a crazed old Thai lady burst into my bedroom without knocking, and started shouting at me, I can't imagine what for. She spoke absolutely no English, and kept asking me if I live there. Well, I mean, I'm lying in the bed, and was clearly asleep, what else would I be doing there? She shouted some more, clicked her tongue at me and left. Without closing the door behind her. WEIRD!!! Note to self: Lock the door before falling asleep.

3) I can't remember what the third thing was. The bizarreness of the second thing made me forget.

4) Oh I remember! The building I live in is populated mostly with Indian people and farangs, so they were putting up lights and decorations for Diwali yesterday. I think at some point it got too much for our poor circuit board, and half the street was plunged into darkness at about 8pm last night. Naturally nobody thought to just unplug some fairy lights, so the electricity stayed off till about 3am, when I was woken up by the lights that I had left on. As they say, TIT (this is Thailand...)